Understanding Why

If you have chosen to live a better story, then a day will come when you will consider quitting. Giving up. Going home.

And these are the moments when our story hinges on the decision we make. Do you keep moving forward? Or do you walk away?

Knowing that this moment is coming, you can prepare for it. And the best way to keep going is to understand your “why.”

photo by leg0fenris’ (Creative Commons)

The Moment

This past Tuesday, June 26, we received our TA!

TA is adoption lingo for “travel approval.” Receiving the TA means that all of the necessary requirements, all of the certifications, all of the approvals, all of the paperwork are all done. Eva and Jude are our children. They belong to us. We are their family. Their last name is now Statton.

Now it is just time for us to go get them.

Now it is time for the real work to begin.

This is a moment we have been anticipating for 14 months. We have day-dreamed about the day we would board a plane that would cross the pacific.  We have sat in our house and pictured 4 extra little feet running around. We can already hear the 2 more little voices calling us mom and dad.

But when this moment of finality comes, it is overwhelming.

It is so overwhelming, that there is a teeny, tiny voice in the back of our heads telling us to quit. That we are crazy. That this is too much.

Now that the work is imminent, the part of us that wants to remain comfortable is now screaming for us to stop.

This voice is the Resistance.

The Resistance

A better story requires moments like these. You will choose something different. Something unknown. Something incredibly difficult.

The more difficult the better.

But the day will come when the “TA” for your better story arrives.  It is time to board the plane. It is time to go to the orphanage. It is time to begin.

When this moment comes, everything in your being will be telling you to stop. Voices of self-doubt will fill your head.

• “You can’t do this.”
• “This is impossible. Who do you think you are kidding?”
• “It’s not too late to quit. Go home and we can pretend like this never happened.”
• “You are a fool to even think you can do this. It will never work.”
• “You are a failure. You are stupid. You are worthless.”

In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield describes the Resistance’s destructive work in our lives this way.

To yield to Resistance deforms our spirit. It stunts us and makes us less than we are and were born to be. If you believe in God (and I do) you must declare Resistance evil, for it prevents us from achieving the life God intended when He endowed each of us with our own unique genius.

Our Why

Don’t worry. My wife and I can’t stop this. We do not want to stop this.

And there is one reason that this resistance we meet in our brains is hushed. There is one reason why we keep moving forward. There is one reason we will add this to our lives even though we believe the screaming voice could be right.

We love these kids.

To walk away from them would be to destroy a part of our own souls. To say no would be the same as giving away one of our biological children.

When times are difficult, when your story hits a rough edge, there is one thing that can keep you going. It isn’t the work you do. It definitely isn’t the “rewards” you might receive.

The only thing that can help you past the Resistance is your “why.”

What is your Why?

Are you stepping into the life that God intended? Or are you stepping into something easier?

Are you doing something that matters? Or are you wasting your life doing something that makes no difference?

Why are you doing what you are doing?

If your work is filled with purpose. If your difficulty has a meaning to it, then you can endure anything. Nothing will stop you. Nothing will get in your way.

Our “why” is love. Could there be any greater why than this?

What is your why? Why have you chosen your current life? Why are you alive?

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